someone special

December 30, 2018

i said eddy stopped our hearts from breaking too far when we lost someone special.
this is him.


there’s a boy i’ve known since i was 6.
and loved ever since i knew nothing other than him being there.

a funny, brave and handsome boy.
with blonde hair and the most goofball smile.
for a while that smile was lopsided i remember.
and he picked up condoms in boots and asked me what they were i remember.
i remember.

6 years is strange gap in age for a while. one a wild teenager one just a child. but for a long time. for most time. that gap is nothing at all.
what a kid.
then all of a sudden. we’re adults. on different paths living different lives. but there. 
and this boy.. what a man.

family called him the milky bar kid.
he was awesome.
awesome defined.
and he knew it.

and he died.

you grow up and you love someone and they are there and you love them.
in the background you love them and you’ve known nothing else.
and you grow apart a while and you love them.
and you don’t talk a while and you love them.
and you love them. and then they are gone but you love them.
and you love them and you love them and you live your life loving them.

.. and i love you.
you are awesome.
and you were fearless and you made me feel proud and excited and inspired all the time.
and i said all the time we should be more like you.

we should be more like adam.

i miss you in the background of our life.
i love being your aunty.
and I’m heartbroken for you.
for yours. for your nearest. your closest. your best.
for everyone. 

for you.

but you lived it so well adaman.
we should all be more like you.

we should all be more like you. 

happy birthday kid x

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